“shoes” the 2019 version [x]
donate to my kickstarter so i can build a time machine and
- get julius caesar addicted to hentai
- seduce cleopatra
“oh but how will you seduce cleopatra?” you might ask because you’re a moron. it’s simple: i’m 6′2″ and i’m fat. fatness was considered attractive back then because if you were fat, that meant you were wealthy enough to get fat. plus, 6′2″ is unreasonably gigantically tall in the BC times.
so cleopatra will be like “a giant? AND he’s got stretch marks?” and she’ll instantly become infatuated with my rotund, hairy body
then i will live in royalty for the rest of my days. kickstarter backers will have their names written in my tomb, baffling archaeologists for centuries to come.
My favorite part of this is that OP didn’t feel the need to explain how he’d get Julius Caesar addicted to hentai.
sorry but if your bed isn’t against at least one wall you’re not valid
I used to think this post was stupid because most people like both sides of the bed free but then I realized some psychopaths put their bed like this so not even the headboard is against a wall and this post is about these animals.
A single person’s bed is generally against 2 walls, a couple’s bed is generally against 1 wall, and people with 0 walls have no fear of the dark/unseen with direct access to their head, and therefore cannot be human.
ok the bed just out in the middle of the room is bad but have you considered: only the footboard end against a wall
no i hadn’t. why would you put that image into my head?
Okay, but how is this
I’m at a loss for words
no
fucking
way
Isthis fucking reallife
Man this sports Anime has a really good budget
“HE ASCENDED THROUGH THE AIR LIKE A DEFENSIVE ANGELLL!!!!!1!1!1!1”
i died when they put him back on the floor and started cheering
a little girl who grows up thinking all doors are automatic but actually she’s haunted by a really polite ghost
So chivalry IS dead?!
you win best response to this post
“donald trump used an old vine meme of a nickelback song as an attack against joe biden and nickelback got the video taken down for copyright infringement” is not a sentence i EVER thought i could say and have it be true
This feels like a throwaway joke from The Good Place.